what do you love to do?

last year you may have remembered that we built a garden.  lets just say that i learned A LOT about gardening.  i often found myself googling things like “yellow leaves on basil plant” “brown spot on bottom of tomato” “small white bug on squash plant” “hollowed out squash stems” and it went on and on.  I quickly learned that there is an art to gardening, and after a pretty much failed garden I almost gave up this year. 

this year spring started to roll around and I kept looking out at my barren garden…trying to decide if i would attempt it again this year. the planting season was starting to creep up, and i felt very tired & pregnant.  I almost had myself convinced that I shouldn’t attempt it again this year…after all I proved last year that I had no green thumb.  BUT--lately I’ve found myself thinking about what is it that I want in my life…what makes me happy? what are the things that are important to me…on my life’s to do list you know?  well—to have a garden is one of them and I decided I CAN’T GIVE UP!  what do you want to do in your life???? what is it that you love? now is the time to go out and do it! if not now when? if you fail the first time try again :)

so—here are a few things out of my garden so far this year :) hopefully it will do better than last years!

NO SUBJECT

hi everyone. yes, i'm still pregnant :)

when i found out i was one cm dilated...ofcourse i came home and went to babycenter.com and typed in 36 weeks and 1 cm dilated to come to find out that many many people stay 1 cm dilated for weeks sometimes. so i said oh well...i guess we'll see. tomorrow i'll be 38 weeks...and my belly is still here.

i did have an intersting weekend though. last week jack got the stomach bug, and then friday night i started feeling yucky and sat. morning i was really feeling yucky and then i started having cramps and then contractions along with TERRIBLE back pain so when i found myself laying in my bed crying b/c i hurt so bad(brad was at work) i decided maybe i needed to go in. so i did. i was having contractions 3-7 minutes apart with back pain(which we think might be do to the baby facing up rather than down). they said we are going to check your urine just to make sure you aren't dehydrated since you've been nauseated...and boy was i dehydrated, so i got some IV fluids and the contractions went away :) :( for a little while i thought i was going to have my baby, but then my labor said just kidding. i was sick for a few days and brad actually gave me some IV fluids at home so I wouldn't have to go in again. it was strange....but convenient.

since i've gotten better i've been doing great. i'm done...being pregnant that is...i can't move around well anymore and i don't like that....so i'm definitely ready, but I'll have to wait one more week i guess. unless ofcourse i go into labor before then. we'll keep u posted.

well my friends...

Today I'm 36 weeks pregnant & I went to the doctor for a routine appt. I've been having some pretty strong contractions at night that keep me up, but I've kind of ignored them b/c I felt like it I'm in labor eventually I'll know :) They've always gone away...teasing me, but they've gotten pretty painful the last couple of days(cramping & pains in my thighs & lower back pain) so I mentioned it to the doctor, and she decided to check me out to see if anything was going on.

Well ladies & gentlemen...I'm 1 cm dilated, 75% effaced & my cervix is soft & ready. When she told me this...I said what!!??? Considering the fact that I was long and closed and my cervix never did anything with Jack I was quite suprised. Also, my water broke with Jack at 1 cm dilated...so now I'm nervous about being that girl in Target whose water breaks in front of everyone. I know every pregnancy is different...but I can't help my thoughts. Anyways, since I'm 36 wks...I'm going back to check on things at 37 wks rather than 38 wks. We did schedule a c-section for April 12th, but if I go into labor before then and things are moving along well I might try for a VBAC...it depends on how I"m feeling at the moment :)

So for now I leave you with a slight bit of panic b/c I'VE GOT LOTS TO DO before this little girl arrives.

mommies ONLY :) I need your advice....

Okay all my mommy friends....VBAC or repeat c-section????? I'm really having a hard time deciding. After all the research we've done, for me, no one way is better or safer or thats what we'd be doing :) Both options have their risks. SO, any thoughts would be helpful....

My thoughts on VBAC

• Quick recovery...especially since I'll only have help for the first two weeks post partum
• Just the experience of having my baby naturally(with an epidural of course)
• No worries for future births(placenta attachment issues become more common with more c-sections, we definitely want three kiddos...it gets more worrisome with the fourth baby which we aren't sure if we want to have, but I get unsure about ruling it out--people have four c-sections all the time, but your risks increase 3x with a fourth baby for placenta problems so it would be a risk)
• nervous about the possible damage that can be done down there...if you are brave enough...I really want to know the truth
• uterine rupture & detachment DOES happen--I would be closely monitored, but an emergency c-section could occur--while most of the time everything turns out okay, some do result in really bad stuff
• get to have my baby girl with me right away

My thoughts on repeat c-section

• can be planned
• uterine rupture or detachment is less concerning
• its a surgery...so thats always more risky
• longer recovery
• scar tissue build up later in life with the more c-sections you have--can cause all kinds of problems
• increase my risks for placenta attachement issues for my next baby or babies

Okay...bring it on...ANY thoughts I'll take them! I'll take some prayers too for us to make the right decision :)

Cheese!

Jack has perfected his “cheese!”  I took this picture just for his Aunt Mary because he is wearing a shirt and boxers that her kids wore when they were little!  I’m sorry I know these are the same pictures basically but I just couldn’t decide when one to post…b/c if you ask me…both are precious!

 

4 wks to go ladies & gentlemen

Sweet Madeline will be arriving in 4 weeks…unless I decide to go for a VBAC, which will put her here in 5 weeks.  Today I bought Jack a baby, so we can start practicing.  So far he’s been really sweet with his baby, who I had to redress in boy clothes b/c I couldn’t find a boy baby anywhere!  We put a diaper on the baby, which Jack went and got for me.  We’ve been feeding the baby, and of course we’ve been giving the baby lots of love & kisses :)  I got Jack to pick out a blanket from the closet for his baby, and he chose one with balls of course :)  When I tell him the baby is sleeping he says “awwww.”  What a sweet boy!  If you ask me, he seems like a promising BIG BROTHER :)

I’ve been feeling great…although I’m definitely ready to have this baby! I’ve still been exercising which has helped me ALOT.  In fact, when I don’t go I find my back hurts more and I have more swelling.  I decided to put a picture up of my lovely self…but I’ll warn you…my face is deformed due to the fabulous effects of being with child.

        

the days are flying by…

here are some recent pictures of my sweet jack. 

i sometimes think about how i wish i were living closer to home, how i miss my family so much & how sometimes life just stinks, but i have to say that jack is truly my inspiration to live each day to the fullest and leave all my worries behind.  life goes by too fast to worry about what you’d rather be doing, who you’d rather be with & where you’d rather be.  it dawned on me awhile back that i could be sad in San Antonio and wish while i waited to be in Lake Charles again some day, then all the sudden it would finally be that day & jack would be 8 yrs old & I'd most likely have a 6 yr old, 4 yr. old & possibly 2 yr. old…did i really want to spend some of the best years of my life waiting for something else?  I've kind of made a commitment since then to really try and make the best of what's around.  I'm not going to lie and say i don’t have my down days, but I'm finding them fewer and further between my good ones :)  

jack is such a joy—and he’s getting big waaayyy too fast.