I need him now...more than ever.

When I started my blog it was so everyone could keep in touch with us...but over the years its become somewhat of a diary of my life. I've always been one that writes when I can't express myself with words or I need to get something off my chest...for some reason its sort of cathartic for me...I could write on a piece of paper that I could eventually ball up and throw away, or I could write here where I have someone to listen. So if you are listening tonight...I need you to think of me and my family. I need you to say some prayers for us because we need strength, guidance & my dad needs healing.

It's been I'd say the story of my life...my precious dad who's so sick and never getting better it seems. I guess we'd always been told his heart condition would just continue to get worse, but its crazy dealing with someone who is so sick. People can tell you until you are blue in the face and you just go in and out of this strange way of going about your day life like its not real and trying to deal with it. I don't know what I'm doing...I can talk about it, but I don't believe it.

Today though I'm believing it because I'm seeing it and I'm feeling it. My dad is really sick...more sick than ever. Between his denial and ours I think we all feel so lost.

I feel so heart broken and tired and sad inside, and I want to go about my day like I have for the past year as if nothing is wrong. I can't even bear to think about the pain and sadness my dad must feel...

I need you to pray for all of us...for us to feel his strength and love now...more than ever.