A Sacrifice

Yesterday I learned what it truly feels like to make a sacrifice...for us it was to give up something we loved more than words can explain for something else we love more than words can explain. I remember when we decided to get Sadie. She would be my companion...someone to keep me company since Brad would be gone so much during med school & residency. Sadie was indeed my companion...she accompanied me everywhere I went and I loved her so much. I grew up with pets and every one I had was a part of my family, and each time I lost one it was like losing a part of my family. Sadie was Brad's first pet...and she stole his heart right away. He spoiled her more than I did! Sadie was our first "baby" and I knew not having her around would be hard-and after giving her up yesterday I'm realizing this is a lot harder than I thought.

Although Sadie had her issues, she was one of kind. She had the funniest personality, and she always amazed us with her smart thought processes...she was too smart for her own good. On Father's Day I remember reading in the paper different advices' fathers had shared with their children. One stood out to me and it read something like this, "there will be many hard decisions to make in your life and usually the right choice is the hardest choice." That quote stuck with me for awhile and it was during those next few days that we decided Sadie would be better off in a home without kids. Making this decision was by far the hardest so far in our lives..., but in our minds we know it was the right one.

Now its figuring out how to move on...I miss her terribly right now. It hurts really bad. I'm angry and trying to find peace in it all but its HARD and IT SUCKS. I just want my dog back...I want my friend who kept me company, who followed me around from room to room, who knew when I didn't feel well, who greeted me every morning and waited for me before going to bed every night.

Grieving is wierd because you know eventually you'll start to feel better, but it seems so far away.