More info. on donating...

You can donate blood tomorrow at CSC Federal Credit Union in Lake Charles(next to Taco Bell) from 1-4 pm in my Dad's name, Bert Wainwright at St. Lukes in Houston. Families are encouraged to try and replace what their loved ones used/using so we can keep giving blood to those who need it and save lives. My dad also gets "credit" and isn't charged for the blood he uses.

We are so lucky to have all of you thinking of us and praying. My dad would be so happy....he always worried about us having to go through all of this.

We're waiting God...

We know God has a plan. We just don't know what, when, how & why...we're just waiting and hoping his plan will keep our Dad here with us longer.

Dad became very unstable last night and they brought him into surgery this morning. His abdomen was full of fluid from all his organs that aren't working. He was so distended they couldn't even close him up, so his belly is open and they are hoping to clean out more fluid tomorrow. The doctors are saying they don't know what will happen...our dad has a lot of things going wrong and it will just take time to tell if he will be able to recover from this...its in God's hands.

Please continue to pray for us...for my dad to be comfortable and for God to be with us and whatever his plan may be to give us the strength to handle it and most of all be with our Dad...

a few steps back...

It's been a week and a half now and my dad is still in the ICU. He can only have two visitors at a time for 30 min. in the morning, afternoon and at night. Us kids have been taking turns in Houston to visit him and be with mom...while some how trying to maintain our lives back at home. It's not an easy adjustment back and forth...from one world to another almost. It's wierd to see people going about their day and to think about my dad in that hospital bed.

Today they started my dad on dialysis b/c now his kidneys are giving trouble. He's also had to recieve more blood and get back on blood pressure support meds, which he'd come off of last week. His liver is still getting worse everyday. I don't know....they said there would be days like this, so I'm trying to stay hopeful.

There is one thing you can do though if you want. If you are a donating blood kind of person you can donate at any LifeShare blood donation center or at St. Lukes in Houston, TX under my Dad's name. They ask us to get people to do this to help replenish what our loved ones use. By now my Dad has recieved almost 3 total body blood transfusions. If it hadn't been for donors there's no way he would have made it just due to blood loss. Donating blood SAVES lives! My dad's name is Bert Wainwright.

You should also consider becoming an organ donor...We've met so many people in waiting rooms whose loved ones(children to adults) have recieved organ transplants...their sons, daughters, fathers, mothers, grandparents...lives saved b/c of organ donors. One day an organ donor will save my dad's life.

my solo visit

last night mom stayed with my kids and I went to visit my dad at his 8:15 visit alone. i stood next to his bed and just stared at him...he's still so sick...not awake, ventilated, on a feeding tube and so so so yellow. his liver is basically quitting on us....b/c of this his blood is full of all the toxins from the meds and he can't wake up. its getting worse every day, and the doctors say it is a waiting game and we have to hope he will eventually get better.

i'm no fool though. i realize he may not get better---i keep thinking about the last week i spent with him home in lake charles. i brought him out to prien lake park a few times and i remember those evenings vividly. i pushed him in his wheelchair down the pier and the sunset was so beautiful. i remember saying to myself that if this was it i'd be satisfied. it was such a beautiful evening and it was just me and him. we talked and ignored the elephant in the room.

i'm not satisfied though...i miss my dad so much and i want him to get better. i'm angry b/c seeing him like this is terrible and i don't want these memories to be my last. i want him back and talking and walking.

its a day after day after day fight and the steps are so small and its so hard. i wish i could learn everything i'm learning about how precious life is without going through this experience. it puts a whole new spin on life.

keep praying for us....its all i can ask for. love u guys.

Update…

It’s been one week since my Dad’s surgery, and he’s still on a ventilator, feeding tube & isn’t very responsive. Sometimes he will open his eyes and squeeze our hands…and I still haven’t gotten used to seeing him this way. I don’t think I ever will. Since he still wasn’t very responsive they checked to make sure his stroke didn’t do more damage than we’d thought. The tests came out good and it looks like there is still only min. damage due to the stroke. He is starting to develop pneumonia(sp?) which is all the more reason to get him off the ventilator. He has to wake up more to do that though. If he doesn’t they are thinking of putting in a trach…hopefully we don’t have to do that.

The doctors say we’ll take one step forward and two back for awhile.. Keep praying guys!

This journey is by far harder than I ever thought, but my family is staying strong and we believe God is looking out us…We love you Dad!

Madeline’s Photo shoot :)

I’ll admit…I went a little overboard. I just couldn’t help myself :) Presenting Madeline at 3 mths….

Progress

We are making some progress! They went back in Sunday and were able to close my Dad's chest. We've been able to see him during very limited visiting hours (30 min in the morning, afternoon & at night.) He's still intubated and in the ICU. He goes in and out of consciousness. He's squeezed our hands a few times which was comforting. He opens his eyes a little. We are hoping they will be able to take him off the ventilator in a few days. He'll be in ICU for awhile though. Everyone's prayers are working!

My Dad

Things have been pretty rough. They did the surgery, but my dad is bleeding more than they would like. They left his chest open Friday and went back in this morning to work on the bleeding. They weren't able to close him up again b/c of it, so we are hoping tomorrow they will be able to.

Its been so hard to see my dad in this condition. He's still sedated and intubated(breathing tube in.)

Thanks for all the prayers and love you guys are sending our way. We are so lucky to have all of you.

KEEP PRAYING! They say we have a lot to get through before we are out of the woods.

It's here...

Tomorrow morning(Friday) at 6:00 AM Dad will be going into surgery to get the LVAD put in. I can't believe it's finally here...

We've heard the doctors say how dangerous it will be for my Dad too many times. I'm really scared, and I don't think I realize that all this is really happening tomorrow morning.

Please continue to pray for my dad and my family. Getting through the surgery is going to be one thing and getting through the first week is another. They say this week will definitely be very difficult. I just pray that God will be with us...and especially my sweet Dad whose been through so much.

I'll keep you posted. The surgery is 6-8 hours long.

Update

I'm so lucky to have so many of you thinking of me and my family during this tough time...thank you. Thank you for all the prayers.

Dad has taken a turn for the worst, and we are hoping to get the lvad(heart pump) in asap. He will be in the hospital for upto 3-4 months after he gets that put in. Its a long and hard recovery. We are hopeful that it will make him feel better and get him stable to wait for a heart. The video you saw was a very successful story...it would be amazing if that happened with dad. We have to pray that his surgery and recovery will go just as good.

The doctors say we don't have much time, so we are hoping to get everything moving at the beginning of this week. Its a process though..you have to get approved just like you would for a heart transplant.

Please continue to pray for us...this is by far the hardest thing I've ever gone through.

HOPE

Last night my parents met with the lead heart doctor at St. Luke’s Hospital.  The prognosis for my dad is not good.  I’m just going to be honest…she said my dad has less than three months to live.  Next week he’ll be going through lots of testing to see if he qualifies for a heart transplant.  Heart transplants can take up to two years to get…so until then this is what he is getting.  It gives me so much hope, but we have to make it through it.

Here is a video that gives you an idea of what we’ve been going through and are about to go through.  My dad has the exact same thing this young girl has…he will be getting a heart pump to hopefully keep him going these next few months.  The doctor in the video is my dad’s doctor too.  The surgery is major heart surgery.

We are so thankful for all of you who are praying for us.  Keep them coming!  These next few months are going to be crucial. 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/37354143/ns/today-today_health/#headline

Jack turns 2!

We celebrated Jack’s 2nd birthday while we were home!  I wanted him to be able to celebrate with our families!  He had so much fun and got tons of great gifts!

Checking out his new fire truck with cousin Marianna!

I didn’t make his cake :( b/c a few different circumstances…makes me sad!  His cake was pretty cute though…ball themed of course…Jack’s favorite thing in the world!

Feeding Marianna some cake!

 

Playing soccer with his new soccer goal…Brad loved it just as much as Jack did!

My sweet girl!

Aren’t they sweet?  Especially Jack…you see that look on his face? Don’t you wish you had a big brother like him?

To you…all of you!

This is a repost…but one that I wanted to make….on Veteran’s Day…this is to you..all of you!

I remember my days of long skirts, bandanas, smoking cigarettes like I was a bad@$$ & my fascination with everything "Hippie", but today I remember vividly the first time I came face to face with them. It started with a phone call to Brad about meeting up for lunch, and it ended with most likely one of the most life changing events in my life.

{ I fell in love with Brad the day I met him, but I remember being very afraid when I realized he wanted to be in the Air Force and serve his country as a doctor. I was afraid, but because our love was so strong I never hesitated & knew I could make it through anything. My family would be in the military...seriously I thought...no way-I never would have imagined it. I didn't have anything against the military, but I will be honest and say that I really had no idea... being "military" isn't at all what I thought. I've always supported our troops even in times I haven't necessarily supported the wars they were fighting, but for some reason I had some negative association with our military. To me they were all these big war hungry gung ho guys with weird haircuts walking around with guns and saying 1,2,3,4...boy was I wrong. }

Back to my day----Brad and I were meeting up for lunch at BAMC(Brooke Army Medical Center) which is the army hospital. Meeting Brad for lunch is a common thing. I walked into the cafeteria and grabbed my tray as I normally would, then I preceded to gather my lunch and find a seat. I walked all through the cafeteria deciding on what I'd eat, then paying, then grabbing my drink & utensils, then finding my seat and then this is the part I'll never forget. I started to sit down, and then I looked around. I became completely numb...I knew the true meaning of weak in the knees at this point...I know I was staring. My eyes scanned the entire room as I took in each of their faces…most distorted from burns, missing ears...noses...limbs. Some had no limbs left, and those that did had been burned badly or were full of pins and stints. Almost all of them were in wheel chairs. I remember one guy...he was probably 18 or 19 years old, and he had a rectangular skin graft across his neck. I don't know how long I stood there, but it felt like forever. I felt a knot in my throat, and then my eyes started to fill with tears. I kept telling myself I couldn't cry here in front of all these people. I sat down, and Brad said, "I was waiting for you to notice." I couldn't speak...I had absolutely nothing to say. Here I was completely helpless and falling apart, but they were all going about their day. After all they were here to eat lunch. Some had family members with them visiting, sitting, eating and laughing. They had gone to war, and now they were back and conquering another battle. Most would have to learn to walk again, how to eat with their left hands, and find themselves fighting through battle after battle for the rest of their lives. I was speechless and my heart broken.

I left the cafeteria that day changed. I now had the upmost respect for our troops that I ever would. I had come face to face with their sacrifice. I will never forget them or all of those who are still serving our country. I want to thank every single troop and all of those who support them for serving our country…Thank You & May God Bless You!!!!!

Madeline’s Baptism

While we were in Lake Charles Madeline was baptized!  Her godparents are my brother, John Scott, and Brad’s oldest sister, Christie.  She’s a lucky little girl!

    While they were pouring the water over her head Jack said, “Oh Mani all wet!”