Day in Day out

Some days I find myself saying, “I can’t blog today because I would have to tell people what life is really like for me right now…and I don’t want to show my pain, my anxious feelings, my exhaustion.”  I am strong…I can do this…and I coach myself through whatever it is that doesn’t compare to what could be worse. 

Those are my toughest days. 

              The days when I’ve maxed out all my resources.

             The days when my blessings have come forth 

and God has provided,

but it’s still hard. 

But what I’m learning is that God’s plan is not to always make life easier.  He will provide the path that will lead me to him, but it’s not always going to be a joy ride…

and as a friend once told me….I have to CHOOSE joy. 

I’ve prayed for years…

Dear God, please bring me closer to you. 

When my dad died…through this deployment…who do I find myself closer to?  I can see God’s hand all throughout my life, through the pain, through the suffering, through the fear, through the exhaustion and…

                                                   IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.