Tuesday, July 8, 2008


To make a long story dad's been really sick lately. the plan has always been for my mom to come to san antonio when i went into labor and stay with me for a couple of weeks...something we have always both dreamed of. since my dad has been sick we haven't been sure if she would be able to leave him to come or not. i was scheduled to induce today at 3:30 and she was going to come, but my dad hit a rough patch this morning and she knew she wouldn't be able to come today...which was really hard for her b/c more than anything she wanted to be here to see her first grandchild. while i would love to have her here...i understand that my dad needs her and also that i will be fine if she can't come, but i know she was really sad about possibly missing this special event. i had my appt. at 10:15 to see if things were more favorable for inducing, and i knew i would probably have to make a decision about what i wanted to do. basically i felt like i had two options--both with pros and cons.

option 1-I could induce, have the baby & get healed so I could get to Lake Charles to see my dad sooner. I've felt very stranded and helpless here in San Antonio these past few weeks. Being so close to my due date I haven't been able to be there to see my dad or just help my mom with him being in the hospital. This option though would mean my mom wouldn't be here to see her first grandchild being born..which is something I knew was very important to her, and the risk of having a c-section.

option 2- I could not induce...and my mom would possibly be able to come here for the delivery like I know she wants to...assuming that my dad gets stable before i go into labor. This would be risky though b/c my dad's health is sooo unpredictable right now, but atleast she would have the possibilty of being able to come, but this would also leave me pregant that much longer and still stuck here in san antonio away from my family at such a tough time.

This morning i had no idea what i should do. Anyways, i went to my appt. and talked to my doctor about everything that was going on. I have a wonderful caring doctor by the way...I feel sooo lucky. I told her i just wanted to do what was best for me and she did an exam to check my cervix and an ultrasound to see if we had to be worried about jack being too big if we go past my due date. She found that things were very unfavorable for an induction--my chance of having a c-section would be 50%--and waiting past my due date would be no big deal b/c right now jack is almost 7 lbs. and would maybe be 7.5 lbs. a week from now. so my decision was basically made for me...its best to wait for jack to come on his own..and that's just what we are going to do. She did say that normally after a week past your due date they like to induce for different medical that's what we have planned--to induce next week on wednesday if jack hasn't arrived by then.

i feel sooooo relieved. i truly believe that God is helping us through this...such a beautiful thing happening at the same time that such a sad thing is happening. i feel so much comfort though, and i know that only God could be the one to provide the relief and peace that i feel right now.

so like my doctor said...she could see me tonight, tomorrow night or next week to be induced. it's not in our hands though--and i feel so happy about that. usually i like to be in charge and making all the decisions..but this time..i'm completely okay with God doing it for me :) before i know it my little boy will be here...sweet and healthy...and that's all that matters.

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