Happy Birthday Dad

Dear Dad,

I think about you every single day. I miss you with a pain I could never describe.  It’s almost been two years now, and now that I’m over the initial shock and reality has set in…I hurt in such a deeper way.  I know that you are gone now…and I am no longer searching for you.  This reality hurts more than those first months after you passed away.  Although I can manage/control my emotions better these days…I still ache for you…your voice…your touch.  Not only do I miss you…I miss things for you.  I am so sad because I want you to be able to enjoy your grandchildren…I want you to see them with Mimi and how much they adore her.  You should know Dad that Jack still remembers you.  He knows you are in heaven with Jesus…he told MiMi you weren’t dead…you were alive in heaven with Jesus.  I believe him with all my heart, and I know you are watching us live this blessed life.  Losing you has taught me so much about life Dad.  I am a better person now.  I love deeper and with no reservation, and I understand how precious each day is.  I value my relationships more and I don’t take much for granted these days.  My relationship with GOD has completely blown me away.  I prayed that I would find myself closer to him and there is no doubt in my mind that through losing you I found a deeper love for him. 

Today is your birthday.  I wish you were here, and I long for you so badly.  I remember your huge smile at your last birthday celebration on earth.  I knew it was going to be our last…

Dad, I know you know how we are all doing…we’re hanging in there.  We are still here living life, and most days we are happy, but I know I speak for all of us when I say…not a day goes by that we don’t miss you, think of you, long for you, and remember you.  We love you…Happy Birthday!

Love,

Rebecca

Brennan

Brennan…oh my sweet baby! This little boy couldn’t be a better baby! Things have been so hectic, and honestly I’m not sure what I’d do if he weren’t the chilled out go with the flow little guy that he is!  Brennan is about 3 months now, and we are just so in love with him!  Jack and Madeline love to hold him and give him his paci! Normally I don’t do pacifiers with my babies, but with this one I decided I needed something to delay feedings in extreme circumstances.  It’s worked out well and definitely holds him off when I can’t drop whatever I’m doing to feed him.  Brennan is my chunkiest baby.  He loves to eat :) In fact he will switch from nursing to a bottle anytime and it’s no big deal.  It’s such a blessing b/c my other two would NEVER take a bottle.  He has just started batting and playing with the toys on his play mat….it’s great entertainment for about 30 minutes until he falls asleep.  He still sleeps a lot, and he only wakes up once at night usually!  Good thing b/c in order to make things happen each day I’ve been waking up at 6AM to get work done before the kiddos are up! 

These are pictures of his first big smiles!  It was so cute and I’m so happy my camera was nearby to capture it!

Anyways, we are all doing great! Things have settled down a bit, and it looks like we did in fact sell our house!  We close on July 2nd and then we are heading to Florida!  We are moving ourselves b/c the military moving companies are all booked.  It should be an interesting adventure.  We are super excited to get to Florida and get settled.  We decided to build a house so we are gonna be living somewhere temporarily until the house is done in November.  I’ve already got Jack and Madeline enrolled in preschool, found a gym, found a MOPS group and I’m working on a church!  Life is happening :)

Brennan’s Baptism

We were able to go home to Lake Charles for Brennan’s baptism.  We feel so blessed that Fr. Keith (who married us & baptized Jack & Madeline) was able to do the baptism for Brennan! 

Jennifer and Ben are Brennan’s Godparents! Thanks for being there to celebrate with us!

Forever indebt…

 

I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.

When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.

I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!  This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.

There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15: 9-14

Dancing in the rain…

I’ve seen this quote tons of times, and I’ve always thought it was great, but now I can say I know how important the message is.

"Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Really.

To all my readers…you may have been wondering where I’ve been, or perhaps you know exactly where I’ve been :)

Three kiddos, a house on the market, the process of building our house in Florida, and the countless hours I’ve spent on the phone settling insurance/house/rental/school stuff HAS TOTALLY ROCKED MY WORLD.  

I. DON’T. STOP.

I thought I had seen tough times, but what I’m learning is there will always be something happening.  SO-although its been pouring I’ve been trying to learn to DANCE IN THE RAIN : ) But, those who know me best know I’m not very coordinated~very scattered brained~and can’t control my emotions for anything.

The other day I seriously sobbed through an entire spinning class…filled with emotions from every direction. It was quite therapeutic.  I laugh thinking about myself doing that, but it’s the truth, and I share it with you…just to show you that embarrassing life meltdowns can happen to us all. Luckily it was dark and no one probably noticed.

Leaving the place where we started our family, moving to a new place where I know no one, and thinking about the fact that despite my attempts to deny it…Brad will be deploying within the year---I’ve found myself panicked. I will survive it, but I’m going to have to DIG DEEP.

On another note-here are pictures of my sweet peas and what we’ve been up to lately…

Madeline turned 2! We had a small family birthday party and it was awesome…short, simple, sweet & EASY!

Crawfish Boil

Brad always wanted to have a crawfish boil here in San Antonio since most of the residents and our friends have never had crawfish before.  It dawned on us that our last chance to do it happened to be the weekend before my c-section since Brad’s parent’s were coming in town and could bring live crawfish.  So we had a crawfish boil on Saturday, and I had Brennan on Monday.  I was super pregnant, but it was totally worth it.  We had a blast!

We rented a bounce house, but to be honest the kids had more fun playing with the live crawfish!

Me and my friend Tiffany!

Last picture as a family of four!

Happy Easter!

 

What a few weeks it’s been!  We have been so busy :) It’s been great though…especially with the help of our Nana, Pop Pop & Mimi! We are so lucky to have such wonderful parents who truly went ABOVE & BEYOND what we ever intended them to do while helping us transition to a family of 5!

This weekend we took the kids to our neighborhood EASTER EGG HUNT! It was super fun & a perfect reason to get the kids dressed up and snap some cute pics!

Don’t worry Brennan wasn’t harmed during this picture!

Miss Madeline Grace! Madeline is getting so big and actually turning two in a couple of days…she’s been terribly two for about two weeks now ;) but we still love her!  She’s just learning to be independent…and with that comes a lot of “No’s” and little big tantrums when we attempt to get in her way of doing things in any sort of fashion.

She is really cute, and that helps the situation!

Jack has been such a great big brother! He tells me all the time “I’m so happy Baby Brennan came out of your belly!” and “I love him he’s so cute!”  Jack is getting to be such a big boy.  He’s turning four in July and that’s just too old…

Oh Brennan! He is such an angel…newborns are so easy! He just hangs out with us all the time, sleeps & eats :) We are enjoying him so much!

Did I mention that Maddy has a head full of curls…this little girl has some super curly hair.  It has to be styled 3x a day in order to not turn into a rat’s nest…