Saturday, September 4, 2010

Picking up the pieces…

I guess I have to start somewhere.  The last few months are a blur.  I want to start by thanking all of you who sent prayers, cards and much needed love my way.  I heard from so many people I haven’t talked to in so long, and it was so comforting.  Each phone call, message, card…whatever you may have done…it made a difference.  Thank you!  (I will say in the middle of all of this I switched phones and lost many numbers & I haven’t been able to access my voicemail for awhile…I’m still working on getting that fixed.  So if you haven’t heard from me…I probably don’t have your number…it sucks, but hopefully I can get back in service pretty soon.  I would love to talk to many of you!)

My dad went to Houston at the beginning of July, and in August Brad had to leave and go to Corpus for the month to do an away rotation.  So for two months we were displaced.  We are home now!  It feels so good to be home…back in our routines and just the comforts of home! 

Since we left…I feel like my kids have grown so much.  Jack is talking up a storm.  He loves to sing and dance…after a performance he says, “It’s beautiful momma?”  Madeline is growing and becoming more fun everyday!  She laughs and smiles all the time.  Both of them are the light of my life right now.  They seriously keep me going! 

My dad was sick for a long time.  We all knew one day we’d lose him earlier than we’d like.  I always thought in some way that would prepare me.  It doesn’t.  Losing a parent is so painful…it stings.  I miss him so much everyday…and although I visited often…I still think of all that I wished I’d told him…asked him…or done.  We are a really close family, and I’m thankful we have each other to lean on.  This experience has for sure made us closer.  I just try to remind myself that he’s looking down on us and with us each day. 

My memories of his last few days are piercing…he looked so bad and we knew we were losing him.  I held his hand…standing by his bed I stared at my dad, tough to recognize, and I prayed and pleaded with God.  Please keep him with me, but do what you have to do because I know you know what’s best.  God took him away to heaven in the middle of the night and we were all there.  I will never forget that moment…the last beat of his heart…I watched it on the monitor….and off he went to be back with his mom in heaven.  My life was changed.  My relationship with God has forever changed.  I am so thankful  I  have him in my life!

I miss you Dad, but I now have you to help me, guide me & to watch down on these beautiful babies I have from up above! I love you!

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(I can’t keep Madeline’s hands out of her mouth!)

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