Friendship is important....

I came across this article on someone else's blog: and thought it was so funny (but true!)

The Evolution of Friendship

When you become a mom, your life changes. Your views of life change, your thought processes change and your priorities change. You never realize until after having kids a.) how much money you used to spend, b.) how much free time you used to have, and most importantly c.) the true value of a good nights rest!

One thing that shouldn’t change when you become a mom is the importance of friendships. Unfortunately I seriously struggled with this as a new mom. Figuring out how my friendships should fit into my life after I became a mother was NOT easy for me. In fact, my ideas of friendship evolved quite a bit over the years A.C. (After Children).

OK, so let me take you on a year-by-year “growth” chart of my thoughts on friendship as I “matured” in motherhood.


B.C. – (Before Children)
“I think I will take this Friday off work to go visit my best friend in Chicago! Hmm… things are pretty busy at work, do you think they can manage at the office if I take Friday off? Heck, if I am taking Friday off, I might as well take Monday off too and make it a long “girls” weekend. Maybe we could hit the spa while we’re at it!?!”
RECAP: Work Hard, Play Hard, Friends Rock!

Year 1 A.C. (After Children): 1 Newborn
I am TOO busy and WAY TOO tired for friends! I have a husband, a baby, my work… I don’t have time for friends!
RECAP: Unavailable and exhausted. Friends? What are those?

Year 2 A.C. – 1 toddler
OK, maybe I could use a friend. It would be nice to have someone to take “stroller walks” with at the mall and toss around parenting ideas with. I need a bit of sanity and some understanding from a fellow mother.
RECAP: Life is a bit lonely, I think I might be ready to meet another mom.

Year 3 A.C. – 1 Preschooler and 1 “in the oven”
MY KID NEEDS FRIENDS!! Since your daughter is my daughter’s age, we should be friends!? Right?
RECAP: I meet friends through my kid… oh, and I don’t necessary have to personally have ANYTHING in common with them as long as our kids play well together.

Year 4 A.C. – 2 Kids (Preschooler & Baby)
OK, I found a friend. A REAL friend. She has kids the same age as me, our husbands like each other… I am done… I don’t need anymore friends.
RECAP: Too many friends and finding new friends are TOO much work. I’ll stick with one, thank you!

Year 5 A.C. – 2 Kids (Kindergartner & Toddler)
BOO! My ONE friend moved away!… Maybe I should consider letting more friends into my life? Wait, can I be friends with you even though our kids aren’t the same age and sex?
RECAP: OK, maybe there IS an advantage to having more than one friend?! And MAYBE I should expand my “friend network” to include others outside my normal scope?

Year 6 A.C. – 2 Kids and 1 “in the oven” (Elementary Age & Preschooler)
A mom is a mom is a mom is a friend! I don’t care what age your child is, whether you have a boy or girl, or even if I LIKE your child! I need friends who can support me and not judge me… I am too busy for YOUR drama. My 6-year-old gives me ENOUGH drama.
RECAP: Quantity does NOT equal quality, yet it is good to have a diversified “friend portfolio.” Note to self: Ignore drama.

Year 7 A.C. – 3 Kids (Elementary Age, Preschooler & Baby)
Life is busy, thank goodness for cell phones, Facebook, Twitter and texting! I don’t have all day, every day to keep up with my friends, but I still need them! Now more than ever! Once I start sleeping, stop nursing, and manage to get the house clean for more than 30 minutes, can we try for a “girls night out” again? It’s a good thing Year 6 A.C. saw an increase in my friend index!

Question: The more friends I began with, the higher my chances are that I will still have at least one left when I actually have time for them again. Right?

RECAP: Lets call this… “The Year of the Electronic Friend.”

Present Day: 3 Kids (2 Elementary Age, & 1 Toddler)
So balance is returning, or maybe I am just getting used to the chaos? One thing I know though, my life would not be nearly as rich, as diverse, and as fulfilled as it is now if it weren’t for all of my friends.